One of the most striking an hard hitting verses in the Bible is Psalms 14:1, which says, "the fool says in his heart there is no God. " I do not pretend to be the wisest nor the most knowledgeable person around, but you don't have to be either to see that the psalmist is absolutely correct in the observation that has been made in this psalm. The older I get, the more sure I am that there is a God and only a fool will say otherwise.
Why do people believe there is no God?
1. They chose to turn off their own natural instinct and intuition. It is intuitive to believe in a Higher Power.
2. Those that don't believe want empirical or scientific proof of a higher being but faith is not about proving facts. Faith is about living by truths that guide us and sustain us.
3. None believers believe that God cannot exist because if He did exists, He would not allow people to do the horrendously evil things that we do. They do not take into account our own responsibility for evil and that we as humans have free will.
4. Non believers overlook the things that even scientists say cannot be explained by science, such as spontaneous remission from incurable diseases or why a bumble bee can fly with wings too small or it's body.
5. Disbelief allows someone a life that is as ethically corrupt and morally bankrupt as they please without feeling bad about it, because they have no higher power to answer to. Believers may still sin but they do not do so comfortably and without conviction.
If you don't want to be a fool then don't foolishly overlook the evidence of God's existence in Mother Nature. Everything about nature speaks to the existence of a Divine Creator. When you look into intricacies of even the smallest things on earth such as a leaf or a blade of grass then you will see the hand of God at work. The absolute predictability and dependability of the cycles in nature from the orbits of the earth and the moon, to the change of the seasons to the migration of the birds and the butterflies, to the spouting of old faithful geyser in Yellowstone National Park. Dogs and cats possess extraordinary eyesight, hearing, and smelling. Bats are blind yet every night at the same time they leave their roost, find food, then come back to the very same roost. Bats, elephants, and whales are overwhelmingly different yet they have an amazingly similarity in that they hear and communicate with their species by sonar. Scientists say elephants and whales can communicate with other elephants and whales with sonar from miles away. A wise and observant person can see the hand of a super intelligent Creator in how interdependent various species or plants and animals are on each other for survival. If, however, none of these things convince you of a Divine and intelligent Creator then look at the mirror at yourself. As Psalms 139:14 says "I am fearfully and wonderfully made." The many and marvelous systems of the body and how they work with each other to give us life is absolutely mind blowing and the wise person knows this.
Secondly if you don't wanna be a fool, don't overlook the amazing peace that a believer possesses. Isaiah 23:3 says, "you shall keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Him. For his trust in the Lord." When you observe the person who walks by faith you will see the truth of the above Scripture. The true believer is not necessarily experiencing an absence of storms and battles. On the contrary the person of faith may be deep in the middle of a crisis, yet the person of faith has a calmness of mind and spirit because the believer knows that he or she is in God's hands. The believer knows that God can and God will work it out.
The non believer is all too often a malcontent that is fearful, anxious, depressed, worried, and easily angered. The non believer, wants to flee when trouble is just a small dark cloud barely appearing on the horizon, crumbles under the weight of the smallest burden, and loses his or her cool at the smallest and most inconsequential offense. Of course, believers have bad days and down moments but those times just don't seem to come as often or last as long for the believer. In general, a believer can handle the negative and remain cool, calm, and collected.
The believer keeps that sense of peace by being a person of prayer and trusting in Scripture. I live by Isaiah 23:3 as well as Psalm 27:1, "the Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my heart, whom shall I be afraid?" I also live by Philippians 4:6-7, "be anxious for nothing, be in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving let your request be known to God and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."
Thirdly, if you don't want to be a fool, don't overlook the joy a believer has. Joy and happiness are very similar yet not the same. Happiness depends on what is or what is not happening. When life presents us with negative situations and circumstances there will be no happiness. However, true believers can always experience joy even in the worst of times because joy comes from a relationship with the Divine. Joy is not at all dependent on if what is happening is good or bad. Joy is a gift from God that is down deep on the inside that is seen on the outside. Happy is strictly about the exterior. Nehemiah 10:8 "the joy of the Lord is your strength". If the non believer will observe the believer he or she the believer being strong under circumstances that will break people that don't have the joy of the Lord. The believer smiles when the non . The true believer rejoice in church and they don't need anyone to pump them up to do so, because the true believer has the joy of the Lord on the inside they will display and exuberance, an excitement, and a sense of positive expectation no matter what is going on in their lives.
In order not to believe that their is a God person would have to forcefully push himself over his or her distinctive knowledge of a higher power. It is within our very own natures to know that their must be a divine creative being in the universe. Whether you refer to that being as Allah, God, Goddess, the Force, the Great Spirit, the Prime Mover, the ultimate source, or the Creator we has humans naturally feel and see that their is some being higher and more powerful than ourselves. In order not to believe, a person would have to forcefully have to turn off his or her own intuition just like you would turn off the television. We have to want not to believe, because disbelief is not natural. Furthermore, when we turn off our own natural desire to believe in a higher power, we're also disallowing our constant need for guidance as well as spiritual and emotional healing.
Karl Marx said, "Religion is the opiate of the masses." Marx said that with the intent to mock and demean belief in a higher being, but he actually told the truth because we believers know we are helpless at leading ourselves and we are helpless at healing our own emotional wounds and spiritual diseases. There must be a God and we humans need God.
Yes, I am a believer; unashamedly and unapologetically I am a believer. I acknowledge that horrible and evil atrocities have been done in the name of religion by misguided and misunderstanding people from the beginning of time down to the present. Humanity's mishandling of belief, however, does not negate the existence of God but does confirm our fallenness. For me, God is as real as the air I breath and every bit as needed. I hasten to say that for me, my God is the Judeo-Christian God who is a Holy, Eternal, Loving, Creator and Parents. Through His incarnation as His Son Jesus, God is my redeemer and friend. I proclaim with the Psalmist" the Heaven declair His glory". Psalm 19:1-2
Wednesday, July 6, 2016
Wednesday, June 15, 2016
Natural Is Not An Excuse For Infidelity
A few weeks ago the comedian D.L. Hughly on his radio program said in essence that one of the reasons there is so much going on in our society that many of us find distasteful and even disgusting is due to the fact that we as a society have lost our sense of "SHAME". A statement I readily agreed with until he made it very clear that he was not including "INFIDELITY" in the list of negative behaviors we should be ashamed of. This is because Brother D.L. believes that "INFIDELITY IS NATURAL". I thoroughly agree with Brother Hughly that we in America have lost our sense of shame and we need to get it back. I do not agree, however, that infidelity should be left off of the list of things we should be ashamed of. I most certainly do not agree that that we can excuse infidelity just because it is supposedly "NATURAL".
Let me hasten to say that it is not my desire to start a war of words with this iconic comedian. He has the right to his opinion and I respect his right as an American to express that opinion, however, I claim the right to respectfully,prayerfully, and lovingly express my disagreement with him.
Sexual urges are most certainly natural. When the opportunity presents itself those urges can be satisfied in acts of infidelity. The question is are we in control of our urges or do our urges control us? As mature and intelligent adult human beings we should be in full control of our urges because we should be are aware of the serious and lasting consequences that can be incurred by giving into our urges, especially through infidelity. We most certainly can choose to surrender to the desires of our bodies, but we most certainly do not have to surrender to those desires. It is a choice!
Let us face the fact that there are many things that are "natural", yet society frowns upon it if these "natural" things are not handled in the proper way. To not handle certain natural things properly can be detrimental to ones self and to others. It is natural for a small child to claim things as his\her own when something catches their fancy. We adults, however, teach them that claiming what is not ours is stealing. It is natural for children to want to harm those that causes them strife and pain but we adults teach them that they cannot settle their issues with violence. Furthermore, the desire to excrete bodily waste is natural yet we do so only at designated times and places. If we expect our children to learn how to control all of these other natural urges then why should we not be expected to control the natural urge for sex? If we were allowed to give in to all our "NATURAL URGES" at any time and in any way, with no thought given to the consequences, we really would not have a civilization at all! We would be living in barbaric, hedonistic, heathenistic,and savage chaos. We would be no better than the lower forms of animals that are moved by instinct and not by a rational thought process.
It would be foolish not to recognize that sexual urges are very natural and especially so for men, however, it would be just as foolish not to admit that much of the promiscuity and infidelity amongst men is really more about stroking the fragile male ego than about satisfying a natural urge. For many men it is not at all about the urge but about the game of seduction. It is an ego boost to get as many women as possible to fall for our "game". Part of this obsession with successfully "running a game" on women comes out of men constantly being in unhealthy competition with other men. We have a huge need to brag about how many notches we have on our "guns" in order to boost our egos. The guys that just want to seduce a woman for bragging rights could not care less about pleasing a woman, but for some guys their egos are stroked by gaining the reputation of being a dude that can give a woman the ultimate "thrill" in bed. The more women they can thrill the more manly they feel. I think the reason some men make multiple children by multiple women is because the children become physical proof that they are "studs". The existence of all these babies tells the world that I am a "man".
My fellow black men may get angry with me for saying this, however, I truly believe that we Black men are especially vulnerable to sexual temptation because from the day the first Black people arrived in Jamestown, Virginia in chains in 1619 until the present, America has done everything in its power by word and deed to keep the Black male from ever feeling like a true man. "Old Massa" did all he could to emasculate our forefathers while urging them to make as many slave babies as possible. During the Jim Crow era emasculation continued. If we exerted our manhood in even the smallest way we were demeaned and degraded "back into our places". The only thing we had that was all ours, could make us feel good, and feel like a true man at the same time was between our legs. We therefore, cherished "it" and all we could with "it", thus feeding our egos. That legacy lingers with us as Black men today.
For a small but real group of guys sex is really more medicinal than it is about satisfying an urge. Some of our brothers engage in as much sex as they can, with as many partners as they can because for them sex as an opiate used to dull the overwhelming pain that comes from gaping emotional wounds inflicted on them by a society that scorns, fears and rejects them, school systems that vilify and nullify them, communities that exploit, endanger, and dehumanize them, and some times by homes that abused, misused, and neglected them.
No matter what the underlying reasons we have for engaging in infidelity it is still wrong. The only exception I might concede to is when a couple mutually agrees to be in an open relationship. An open relationship is not something that I can agree to be apart of, however, I will not judge or knock couples that have this kind of arrangement.
What truly is disturbing is seeing so many people that claim to be religious that seem to buy into what brother D.L. is espousing. Yet, we who are Christians are taught that in baptism the old sinful nature dies and is buried as we go under the water. A new Christ like nature is born as we are come up out of the water. For a Christian to say that he\she engages in infidelity because it is natural is to negate 2nd Corinthians 5:17 which says "if any man be in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new".
I am especially sensitive to the fact that there is always someone watching us and using us as role models, especially young people. Often there are people watching us that we are not even aware of. If we allow ourselves to willfully, consciously, and purposely be an immoral "alley cat" then the person watching us may assume that it is alright to be an "alley cat". It would be even worse if the person watching us would decide to have nothing to do with church at all because what he\she sees amongst the people in church is no different and no better than the mess he\she sees in the world. In fact the person watching us may cease to seek a relationship with God all together. I would not want that tragedy on my conscience at all.
It does not matter if you call it infidelity, cheating, catting around, creeping, or slipping, dipping, and midnight tipping this negative and immoral behavior causes indescribable and overwhelming pain in so many ways. I have seen a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow inflicted on my own relatives by infidelity. Needless and senseless pain has been thrust upon spouses and significant others as well as the "side pieces". The biggest victims are the children. Both the children born in committed relationships as well as their half siblings that are the result of illicit affairs often experience enormous and lasting pain. We the extended family hurt also because sometimes we are forced to take sides even when we don't want to. It hurts the extended family to find out years down the road about relatives they did not know they had that are the results of some one in the family being a "cat". I have experienced this myself. It hurts when I think about all the years I missed not being able to love and be in fellowship with my relatives because I didn't know they even existed. It hurts to think about the wonderful special family events these relatives missed ( graduations, birthdays, baptism, Christmas, Thanksgiving, reunions, weddings, etc.) and the fact they never got to know their grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins that have passed on. Of course the cheating culprit him\herself will ultimately experience some level of pain due to their actions. All to often, however, they either do not admit their pain or they find ways to push pass it so that they can continue to be serial cheaters.
I cannot help wondering that if brother D.L. is so dismissive about infidelity is he comfortable with his wife cheating? After all "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" or in this case vice versa. I do not know this great comedian personally but my guess is that he would become completely unhinged if he even thought his wife was getting her "groove on" with some other man. Just like the lower forms of animals we humans are territorial. Both men and women feel violated when our territory is invaded.
I have been married to my wife for almost thirty-one years. Some people will find it hard to believe that I have never even come close to "tricking around" on my wife. I can truthfully say that I have never even entertained a serious thought regarding cheating. Even when I have been on trips a long way from home over night without my wife I have kept my integrity. I do not cheat because I cannot bear the thought of inflicting unnecessary pain on my wife, children, and grandchildren, nor do I want to risk losing their respect and trust. Across the nation there are young people that look to me as a father figure. For any of them to be lead astray because of my actions or to lose their respect and trust would be devastating. I don't cheat because it makes no sense to risk everything I have fought to have, especially my good name, over something that was quick and meaningless.
Of course the most important reason that I do not cheat is because I love and respect my God to much to willfully and consciously disobey his commandment not too engage in adultery. I love and respect God too much to break the vow I made to He and my wife to "forsake all others and to cleave only unto her as long as we both shall live". I know that God's prohibition of adultery is not to deny me sexual pleasure but to make sure that I can enjoy sexual pleasure without having the regrets and negative consequences that can accompany sex that is gotten outside of God's will. God's way is the best way!
As I approach the end of this essay I want to emphasize that I am not in any way implying that because I have not committed the sin of cheating that I am better than those that have. I am the first to say that I am still a very flawed human being. I am a work in progress. I am a sinner saved by Grace. I am saying, however, that by at least trying not to willfully,consciously, and purposely sin there have been so many pitfalls and storms that I have been spared. It is comforting to be able to say that there is no long list of women that can say I used them for my pleasure then threw them away like a used paper plate. There are no children that can accuse me of only being a "sperm donor" but not a true Daddy. I don not have to pay child support for children I did not want, was not ready for, and could not really afford. I have not had to deal with "baby momma drama", jealous ex-girl friends, dads and brothers that want to defend a female loved one's honor, and no vengeful husbands or scorned boy friends. I have avoided both the pain and embarrassment of contracting an STD. Just for attempting to do things God's way I have been given a "joy that the world cannot give" and a "peace that passes understanding"
I cannot fall to sleep at night thinking about a long list of women that were my sexual conquest. I have only been physically intimate with two women in my life and I am married to one of the two. With the help of the Savior, Jesus Christ, I can go to sleep each night saying to myself "it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul". God bless each of you.
Let me hasten to say that it is not my desire to start a war of words with this iconic comedian. He has the right to his opinion and I respect his right as an American to express that opinion, however, I claim the right to respectfully,prayerfully, and lovingly express my disagreement with him.
Sexual urges are most certainly natural. When the opportunity presents itself those urges can be satisfied in acts of infidelity. The question is are we in control of our urges or do our urges control us? As mature and intelligent adult human beings we should be in full control of our urges because we should be are aware of the serious and lasting consequences that can be incurred by giving into our urges, especially through infidelity. We most certainly can choose to surrender to the desires of our bodies, but we most certainly do not have to surrender to those desires. It is a choice!
Let us face the fact that there are many things that are "natural", yet society frowns upon it if these "natural" things are not handled in the proper way. To not handle certain natural things properly can be detrimental to ones self and to others. It is natural for a small child to claim things as his\her own when something catches their fancy. We adults, however, teach them that claiming what is not ours is stealing. It is natural for children to want to harm those that causes them strife and pain but we adults teach them that they cannot settle their issues with violence. Furthermore, the desire to excrete bodily waste is natural yet we do so only at designated times and places. If we expect our children to learn how to control all of these other natural urges then why should we not be expected to control the natural urge for sex? If we were allowed to give in to all our "NATURAL URGES" at any time and in any way, with no thought given to the consequences, we really would not have a civilization at all! We would be living in barbaric, hedonistic, heathenistic,and savage chaos. We would be no better than the lower forms of animals that are moved by instinct and not by a rational thought process.
It would be foolish not to recognize that sexual urges are very natural and especially so for men, however, it would be just as foolish not to admit that much of the promiscuity and infidelity amongst men is really more about stroking the fragile male ego than about satisfying a natural urge. For many men it is not at all about the urge but about the game of seduction. It is an ego boost to get as many women as possible to fall for our "game". Part of this obsession with successfully "running a game" on women comes out of men constantly being in unhealthy competition with other men. We have a huge need to brag about how many notches we have on our "guns" in order to boost our egos. The guys that just want to seduce a woman for bragging rights could not care less about pleasing a woman, but for some guys their egos are stroked by gaining the reputation of being a dude that can give a woman the ultimate "thrill" in bed. The more women they can thrill the more manly they feel. I think the reason some men make multiple children by multiple women is because the children become physical proof that they are "studs". The existence of all these babies tells the world that I am a "man".
My fellow black men may get angry with me for saying this, however, I truly believe that we Black men are especially vulnerable to sexual temptation because from the day the first Black people arrived in Jamestown, Virginia in chains in 1619 until the present, America has done everything in its power by word and deed to keep the Black male from ever feeling like a true man. "Old Massa" did all he could to emasculate our forefathers while urging them to make as many slave babies as possible. During the Jim Crow era emasculation continued. If we exerted our manhood in even the smallest way we were demeaned and degraded "back into our places". The only thing we had that was all ours, could make us feel good, and feel like a true man at the same time was between our legs. We therefore, cherished "it" and all we could with "it", thus feeding our egos. That legacy lingers with us as Black men today.
For a small but real group of guys sex is really more medicinal than it is about satisfying an urge. Some of our brothers engage in as much sex as they can, with as many partners as they can because for them sex as an opiate used to dull the overwhelming pain that comes from gaping emotional wounds inflicted on them by a society that scorns, fears and rejects them, school systems that vilify and nullify them, communities that exploit, endanger, and dehumanize them, and some times by homes that abused, misused, and neglected them.
No matter what the underlying reasons we have for engaging in infidelity it is still wrong. The only exception I might concede to is when a couple mutually agrees to be in an open relationship. An open relationship is not something that I can agree to be apart of, however, I will not judge or knock couples that have this kind of arrangement.
What truly is disturbing is seeing so many people that claim to be religious that seem to buy into what brother D.L. is espousing. Yet, we who are Christians are taught that in baptism the old sinful nature dies and is buried as we go under the water. A new Christ like nature is born as we are come up out of the water. For a Christian to say that he\she engages in infidelity because it is natural is to negate 2nd Corinthians 5:17 which says "if any man be in Christ he is a new creation; old things have passed away, behold, all things have become new".
I am especially sensitive to the fact that there is always someone watching us and using us as role models, especially young people. Often there are people watching us that we are not even aware of. If we allow ourselves to willfully, consciously, and purposely be an immoral "alley cat" then the person watching us may assume that it is alright to be an "alley cat". It would be even worse if the person watching us would decide to have nothing to do with church at all because what he\she sees amongst the people in church is no different and no better than the mess he\she sees in the world. In fact the person watching us may cease to seek a relationship with God all together. I would not want that tragedy on my conscience at all.
It does not matter if you call it infidelity, cheating, catting around, creeping, or slipping, dipping, and midnight tipping this negative and immoral behavior causes indescribable and overwhelming pain in so many ways. I have seen a tremendous amount of pain and sorrow inflicted on my own relatives by infidelity. Needless and senseless pain has been thrust upon spouses and significant others as well as the "side pieces". The biggest victims are the children. Both the children born in committed relationships as well as their half siblings that are the result of illicit affairs often experience enormous and lasting pain. We the extended family hurt also because sometimes we are forced to take sides even when we don't want to. It hurts the extended family to find out years down the road about relatives they did not know they had that are the results of some one in the family being a "cat". I have experienced this myself. It hurts when I think about all the years I missed not being able to love and be in fellowship with my relatives because I didn't know they even existed. It hurts to think about the wonderful special family events these relatives missed ( graduations, birthdays, baptism, Christmas, Thanksgiving, reunions, weddings, etc.) and the fact they never got to know their grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins that have passed on. Of course the cheating culprit him\herself will ultimately experience some level of pain due to their actions. All to often, however, they either do not admit their pain or they find ways to push pass it so that they can continue to be serial cheaters.
I cannot help wondering that if brother D.L. is so dismissive about infidelity is he comfortable with his wife cheating? After all "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" or in this case vice versa. I do not know this great comedian personally but my guess is that he would become completely unhinged if he even thought his wife was getting her "groove on" with some other man. Just like the lower forms of animals we humans are territorial. Both men and women feel violated when our territory is invaded.
I have been married to my wife for almost thirty-one years. Some people will find it hard to believe that I have never even come close to "tricking around" on my wife. I can truthfully say that I have never even entertained a serious thought regarding cheating. Even when I have been on trips a long way from home over night without my wife I have kept my integrity. I do not cheat because I cannot bear the thought of inflicting unnecessary pain on my wife, children, and grandchildren, nor do I want to risk losing their respect and trust. Across the nation there are young people that look to me as a father figure. For any of them to be lead astray because of my actions or to lose their respect and trust would be devastating. I don't cheat because it makes no sense to risk everything I have fought to have, especially my good name, over something that was quick and meaningless.
Of course the most important reason that I do not cheat is because I love and respect my God to much to willfully and consciously disobey his commandment not too engage in adultery. I love and respect God too much to break the vow I made to He and my wife to "forsake all others and to cleave only unto her as long as we both shall live". I know that God's prohibition of adultery is not to deny me sexual pleasure but to make sure that I can enjoy sexual pleasure without having the regrets and negative consequences that can accompany sex that is gotten outside of God's will. God's way is the best way!
As I approach the end of this essay I want to emphasize that I am not in any way implying that because I have not committed the sin of cheating that I am better than those that have. I am the first to say that I am still a very flawed human being. I am a work in progress. I am a sinner saved by Grace. I am saying, however, that by at least trying not to willfully,consciously, and purposely sin there have been so many pitfalls and storms that I have been spared. It is comforting to be able to say that there is no long list of women that can say I used them for my pleasure then threw them away like a used paper plate. There are no children that can accuse me of only being a "sperm donor" but not a true Daddy. I don not have to pay child support for children I did not want, was not ready for, and could not really afford. I have not had to deal with "baby momma drama", jealous ex-girl friends, dads and brothers that want to defend a female loved one's honor, and no vengeful husbands or scorned boy friends. I have avoided both the pain and embarrassment of contracting an STD. Just for attempting to do things God's way I have been given a "joy that the world cannot give" and a "peace that passes understanding"
I cannot fall to sleep at night thinking about a long list of women that were my sexual conquest. I have only been physically intimate with two women in my life and I am married to one of the two. With the help of the Savior, Jesus Christ, I can go to sleep each night saying to myself "it is well, it is well, it is well with my soul". God bless each of you.
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